What Is Toxic Masculinity?

So, what exactly is “toxic masculinity”?

Toxic masculinity is the constellation of socially regressive masculine traits that serve to dominate, devalue women, and show unnecessary aggression. Moreover, the traits of toxic masculinity are often characterized by the suppression of emotions, needs, and vulnerability. Those that have attributes of toxic masculinity are known to react negatively to the concept of feminism.

What triggers “toxic masculinity”, and what are its effects?

Since time immemorial, toxic masculinity has been enforced by our society. Familiar phrases like “Stop acting like a girl”, “Man up”, or “Men don’t cry” are all evidence of this phenomenon. And unfortunately when young boys start acting upon that often leads to them finding power in abuse; where they find the domination and power they crave, in addition to all the bottled up emotions that need to be released in some way“Every behavior is connected to a need,” says Mack Exilus, MA, EDM, MHC-LP, a mental health clinician at Citron Hennessey Therapy, and these needs and emotions are often layed upon their children, or women like their mothers, wives, daughters, or even work colleagues so they wouldn’t feel less upon society’s standards and because they never learnt a healthy way to cope with their emotions. Come to think about it many of these men who find their “power” in abuse had to grow up with abusive fathers that gave off the wrong impression of being masculine; which pushes them into an incorrect generational cycle that needs to be broken. The pressure caused by toxic masculinity is enough to be destructive for one’s mental health as suicide rates for men are twice as high for women as men account for 75-80% of deaths by suicide, it is known that toxic masculinity discourages getting help when it comes to mental illnesses. Mental health issues like depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and other illnesses break the facade of perfection that toxic masculinity has forced upon men. Not getting help in severe mental health cases could lead to suicide or addictions that will be turned to as a coping mechanism leading to an overdose, which only shows the importance of being able to combat the mindset of toxic masculinity.

How do we prevent toxic masculinity?

Toxic masculinity is learned, it is not a quality that men innately have. Which means that there is still time and many ways to break these harmful social norms, and encourage healthier forms of masculinity.

Education is one of the most important and effective ways of combating toxic masculinity. If more people are educated about what toxic masculinity is andare able to share their newfound knowledge to those around them, there will be change. For teachers and parents, it is their job to let their kids or students know that they can be vulnerable with the adults around them and that they don’t have to live up to the unhealthy standards society has set. The persistent encouragement from those that are around them will build confidence for the kid to be able to stand against these harmful societal pressures, not be a victim of it. When noticing behavioral patterns or certain actions that point to toxic masculinity trying to interfere and make the person aware of their actions and if possible get help as soon as possible. If one struggles with these stereotypes,they should try getting help and being more vulnerable, also to focus on not risking themselves in reckless activities such as careless driving or getting into fights just to sound more “manly” to others as all these concepts of masculinity are fake and trace back to old sexist cultures that are hopefully changing more and enhancing towards the future. Well-being is more important than a image.

Signs of healing from healing from toxic masculinity.

When starting observing masculinity and femininity as not defined by specific standards or prescribed by certain genders and notice the change in one’s behavior such as feeling comfortable towards asking for help, being able to show emotion, not feeling the need to prove their strength to people these are perfect evidence of healing from past stigmas, beliefs, and actions could’ve been self-destructive and harmful towards the future.

Where can you get help?

If therapy can be afforded locally that is one of the best options to start, its important to be sure its a good therapist that is known so one can be safe and sure the effect won't be negative, if not, an option is online counseling as its usually cheaper or for people that don’t have much time. However, if there’s a chance that one’s at of self harm, reach out to the local suicide hotline. communication with family and friends about feelings is important; because it’s not a shame or a liability and these feelings are absolutely valid. It's important to know that part of healing is reaching out and getting help.

Written by Shams with support from Ain.